TODAY FEB 2 (2009)

Okay, so I have been stressing with this whole college application thing mainly because I don’t want to think of myself as a quitter and a failure. For myself and for my father memory coz humans are a weird and sometimes cruel species. Some people will sympathize with you for losing your father and all and there are those who if they are able genuinely come up to help you. But you know one thing which I have that I don’t know if my strength or weakness is my pride. I want people to remember my father’s memory through me and what I have become in life. I don’t want to allow myself to give up hope ati coz now that I can’t afford to come up with money for uni. that I have to just sit and wait for destiny to take place, that will make me the laughing stock of the human population and trust me it’s not a reputation I want to build a legacy on.
I want to be great so I’m here struggling to get a place at a college to at least do a diploma in something that will give me a job at the end of struggling with school or if I can get sooner, all the better for me. But throughout you wonder are there really forces working against you that try as much as you can you cannot break away from fate?